the spam I get on my work e-mail is so much better than my personal one. Not only is there less of it, but man oh man do they know what I want. I mean, for years I searched for the answer. And now I have it. I can have the ability to shoot across the room (always handy at cocktail parties), speak in tongues, and learn about the escapades of Courtney Love.
"Dude, don't let your wife find out about this!"